The Taming of the Frizz

Stock image. Clients are never photographed.

The Taming of the Frizz

November 2020 | Transformation. This is the main theme in Shakespeare's 'The Taming of the Shrew', and the inspiration for this post. One of life's greatest lessons is to accept what we cannot change and in doing so, find a way to make it serve us positively.
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Frizzy hair is absolutely one of those things that clients struggle to align with. This certainly isn't made easy by the abundance of media advertisements and products telling us we need to fight it and solve frizziness like some sort of pathogenic virus set on destroying our very existence. Conventional salons, even curl specific ones, are often guilty of instilling negative connotations regarding what many people were genetically predisposed to have. These are the same individuals who bombard your wallet and your hair with copious amounts of products and time-intensive rituals. It doesn't need to be this way.

Now, before we get too far into things here, let's start with stating a few absolute truths. Yes there are certain hair lifestyle choices one can utilise to help minimise frizz, but they only offer a solution no different or better than the application of moisturiser to our skin. 

Indeed, shampooing less often, possibly using sulphate-free products, and putting sufficient moisture into the hair are all widely accepted as valid means of temporarily taming frizz. There is no permanent fix though. In exactly the same way we often choose to put a moisturiser on our face each day, a supportive frizzy hair routine may need to become part of a regular daily ritual if there is a desire to manage things atop our heads. This all stated, what we are primarily going to address in this post, is something other than shampoo, conditioner, products or ritual.

This is when the real talk begins.

There is only one thing we need to address regarding this topic of frizz. Either you chose to embrace what grows atop your head, or you don't. You learn to live with and manage your natural texture or you reach for a flat iron. It's that simple. If you're reading this you've likely made the smart decision to not burn your hair and that is a good start. A flat iron is neither healthy nor long term sustainable for your hair, especially if it's innately frizzy. Here's the thing. Frizz is often going to be unavoidable with curly hair. For many, it is as much a part of life as death and taxes.

Make no mistake, unless you are willing to spend a considerable amount of time and energy dutifully prepping perfect curls, frizz is something that you will need to peacefully co-exist with if you wish to reach greater contentment in life. To that point, it literally doesn't matter how well a cut is executed and how gloriously moisturised curls may be when you leave the house. There are always going to be environmental elements that can undo things in record time. This is a fact and something people with frizzy hair have to accept. Coincidentally, this is why I am a big advocate of curly hair being worn long enough to at least partially tie back.

Overall, the reality of  living with frizzy hair is where a shift in thinking started to transform. Here's is the honest truth. Literally, every single time a person has sat in the chair and complained about their frizz, the frizz wasn't the real issue. I will explain why. But first, let's look at quotes from the CGM book. In it, the author states the following:

"The main reason we curly girls are not happy with our hair is because of that curly girl nemesis: frizz."

This irresponsible quote has directly contributed to the unrealistic reality that negatively affects people with curly hair. Moreover, I emphatically disagree with the statement and its implications. The fact is it couldn't be further from the truth and I prove it literally every single day in my studio. Again, frizz is not the real problem.

When a client comes in and mentions that they hate their frizz it is because the shape of their current haircut is making them feel unattractive. The frizz is simply silhouetting that lack of shape and thus making it all seem worse than it actually is. If an individual hates the lack of shape and it is also frizzy, the frizz will seem to be the main issue when in fact, it is not. To prove this point, I will share something literally every client with this situation states. It is key.

Every single time I am finishing up the dry cutting segment of a client's session, each and every single person comments on how they "love it already" and could "leave it just like it is." What is interesting to tell them, and I always do, is at that precise moment, their hair is considerably more frizzy than when they arrived. How could this be? Their hair is actually frizzier, but they are notably happier? This truth is the entire point of this post.

Frizz is not the problem, it is how one relates to it that is the issue. The shape of a haircut ultimately has the power to influence frizz being perceived either positively or negatively. An unflattering shape that also is frizzy is often going to make one feel rather poorly about their appearance. Conversely, a flattering shape, that just so happens to be frizzy, can absolutely still make someone feel beautiful. This factual and philosophical approach makes complete sense. If frizzy hair is indeed unavoidable at times, then it behoves one to create a shape for a client that takes the inevitable and makes it contribute positively to the overall aesthetic they wish to have. Again, a flattering and functional shape silhouetted in frizz is infinitely more desirable and manageable than a flat, heavy, congested one. As mentioned earlier, this all directly mirrors a life philosophy that I carry with me. Take what we feel is less than ideal and find a way to make it serve us positively.

Unfortunately, some of this ideal and approach is easier said than done. I'm saddened and frustrated by the stories I hear from clients who me they were made to feel inadequate because of their natural hair. Interestingly, it is my Caucasian clients who primarily share these stories. My clients who are from other non-Anglo cultures often don't face the same natural hair discrimination. I imagine this is because to do so would be overtly racist here in Australia. Nonetheless, society needs a long-overdue attitude shift in this area. Like all these sorts of issues though, it too will take a minute. I do my part to ensure each and every person who wants to embrace their natural texture is fully supported in doing so.

Now, as with a few posts, I do like to address alternative viewpoints. There certainly are individuals out there who have aesthetic needs or desires that require neater hair and they may want their frizz significantly squelched every single day. That is valid and absolutely worth addressing. If one has the time and a texture of hair that supports it, there are things that can help to tame and soothe frizz to a certain degree. Here's the thing though. While there are various popular curl methods one can engage with to try and achieve this goal, it is important to note that on certain days, particular here in Melbourne, the weather will not cater to or care about the effort put in. In fact, at times it can seem as though Mother Nature spites us in this regard! This is why it is always imperative to ensure one's haircut is designed to be flattering and supportive of what the natural texture wants to do. Products and methods ultimately cannot control or cure what is not controllable or curable. Supportive shapes and a change in how one relates to their natural self are the only things that can really help.